Follow the One Who Knows

I’ve been consistent with my daily walks and noticed the sky was cloudy, but stepped outside anyway. Once I rounded the corner from my street to the next, it began to rain. Normally, it doesn’t bother me to walk in the rain, but I’d already done that this week. I was caught in a downpour while out running errands and my t-shirt became soaked. I’m a little bit past the wet t-shirt contest era, so I turned around and came back home.

I felt a twinge of disappointment for not completing what I’d set out to do, but knew to try again later. Within seconds of being home, the sun came out and that irritated me even more, but I smiled and acknowledged that God can change any circumstance in an instant and that includes the weather. I’m wrestling with a feeling of discontentment today and told God as much. I’m truly blessed in so many ways, but there’s always been this little piece inside of me striving for better. Things don’t happen fast enough, or they happen all at once. While whining to God, I heard the words, “Have you done the last thing He told you to do?”

Nope, but I’m working on it and making progress in decluttering and downsizing my belongings, but there’s still a ways to go. It’s a process going through a 4 year collection of items, but there’s no doubt in my mind it’ll happen. I’ve given myself to the end of the year to see a difference and then the wintertime it’ll become more serious, so by next Spring I’ll receive some clarity of whether to stay put, or go. Yesterday, there were eight kids screaming in the yard next-door, so that tipped the scale toward go. Not that I have anything against children, but feel past that stage of life as well.

This surmises what’s past, but uncertainty of what’s ahead. There’s a feeling of togetherness here, but we can always return to what’s known. For me, it’s to stay steady along this path and to follow the one who knows.

Not Quite Ready Yet

I have a friend who keeps me stocked up in a certain coffee flavor. After meeting with her in October, she gave me the coffee for my birthday alongwith a sweet travel mug. I told her, “You’re my Texas Pecan bean dealer”, and she loved the title.

As mentioned in this post, I stopped by Starbucks on the way home and walked inside. I don’t use drive thru’s because parking gives me a chance to walk to the destination. This time of year Starbuck’s is so festive inside with Thanksgiving and Christmas adorning every shelf. Pretty soon it will become all Christmas, but I noticed they’re already using Christmas cups for their drinks. Looking up at the menu they were also offering Christmas flavors which arrived early this year. There’s one season of the year I’ll step into a Starbuck’s, and it’s the holiday season. They’ve nailed it.

I ordered my favorite holiday flavor, a white chocolate, peppermint mocha. Returning to my truck, I sent my daughter a photo of the cup revealing, “It’s Christmas!” The drink was as delectable as I remembered, but there was something not quite right. It was the first week of November and here I was drinking a Christmas flavor. I made a vow… the next time I step into a Starbucks to order a fall flavor instead. It would be a little weird drinking it out of a Christmas cup, but overall it would feel right.

In the meantime, I’m content sipping this coffee from my bean dealer. Peppermint Mocha will have to wait while I enjoy the season we’re in. From fall to winter goes quickly in Texas so I’m not willing to rush. After drinking the Christmas flavor in the holiday cup, there’s a peace in knowing… I’m not quite ready yet.

Rest in Your Natural Self

The meme used as the feature photo was created by my daughters, boyfriends, father. That’s a mouthful. My friend Jeanne on WordPress recently discovered that I’d let go of Letitgocoach for this blogsite and she called this blog, my ‘secret’ blog. I hadn’t thought about it, but it kinda is. I’m not here to be seen, but I’m grateful to be read. My hope is who reads what’s written here will gather a sense of peace and stillness to surround them in their circumstances.

I spent Saturday repotting plants. Just moving them into a pot one size larger than what they were in. The next morning they looked happier, a little more free with space for their roots to roam. I repotted one that I’d been procrastinating repotting because it’s large, yet fragile. I didn’t have the right type pot for it, so went in search for one at a couple of garden centers, but this guy is 5′ tall, so I wanted a lightweight pot to be able to move it with ease. Lightweight equates to plastic, which I’m not a fan of. As I stood gazing at the large, plastic pots on the shelf of the garden center I wondered, ‘I know you’re plastic, but why must you scream plastic?’

While shopping, I knew there’s a pot sitting in my yard that would work, but it’s made of clay. It’s heavy when empty, so I couldn’t imagine how heavy it would be filled with dirt and a tree. This plant was so root bound, I had to cut the container off of it, but once I placed it in the pot, it stood tall. I watered it thoroughly while outside knowing once I brought it inside, I wasn’t sure how I was going to manage watering it again. (Still pondering that) By God’s grace I was able to carry it inside, back to it’s designated place by the double windows. It has new growth and in this pot it can breath a little easier, and spread out a little more during the winter months which is similar to what my heart whispers about this blogsite.

It’s a new pot just one size larger than the last…a place for your roots to roam, but will reveal signs of growth, yet all the while finding rest in your natural self.

When You Don’t Have To

When the flooring in your house is wood and tile, but you have one rug in the breezeway. That one rug is where the dog will choose to barf.

Sunday afternoons were once spent cleaning house, but I don’t have to anymore. Living solo, the house stays pretty clean and now when I walk through the house each piece receives a questioning glance of, “Will you be a part of the next chapter?” If the item doesn’t speak to my heart, it’s posted for sale.

There’s one table I absolutely adore and what sits on it changes quite frequently. A couple of weeks ago, my daughter noticed the change and said, “Should I be concerned you already have a silver tree on display?” We originally purchased it as Christmas décor, but I believe it’s pretty anytime of year. The metals are fascinating décor, so I went one step further and moved more silver onto the table.

A new fragrance by Voluspa in the middle.

This morning I was outside watering the plants and thought, ‘you don’t have to’, because they’re calling for rain tomorrow, which is unreliable, but taking it one step further the plants really didn’t need it. It was routine from doing it all summer and now the temps are cooler so the plants need less from me. Let me tell you my darlings…that is a mighty good feeling when your life needs less of you.

Maybe I’m past the ‘needs’ of life and my heart is calling me to listen to the ‘wants’.

When we first moved to Texas, we had to follow my then husbands job here. From that point on, every house we moved into we did so because we had to. Sitting here today some 20 years later, my daughter and I wanted to move here, but now that she’s living own her own, I don’t have to stay. With my type work, I can live anywhere, or travel around living in various places, but when I think about staying put, my heart whispers…you don’t have to.

The Sound of Comfort

I’m breaking one of my own rules. The rule was to not drink coffee after 2:00 pm, but here we are at 3:15 pm, savoring a fine cup of cold brew. It was intentional and feels rebellious, but some rules are made to be broken dependent of the day.

I woke up early because I’ve been going to bed earlier, but Saturday morning I stayed in bed to relish in some extra sleep. It was delightful, but there’s something off in the comfort of my sleep. I go to bed with the ceiling fan on, which is directly above the bed, but as morning arrives I’m cold. The house can be stuffy at night so the fan is welcomed, but with the change is season the house cools off at night and the cooler temperature wakes me up in the middle of the night.

Years ago I researched and purchased a pure down comforter. It was a substantial investment for a single Mom, but it was something I wanted and knew it would last. Today, I unzipped the suitcase style, protective covering the comforter is stored in and the sound of it being unzipped caught my attention. It just sounded soothing like something good was about to reveal itself. Placing it in the dryer to air fluff the cool air would release the compacted feathers restoring their fluff.

Once the fluffing was complete I dropped the comforter onto the bed and began unfolding it layer by layer. The sound was a soft, crinkling noise and right then I realized I was listening to the sound of comfort.

Photo by Jen P. on Unsplash

Stay True to You

Over the weekend I was sitting on my bed recording a Marco Polo for my friend, and showing her some things I’d done to my room to make it more Haven-like. She Marco Polo’s me back saying she loved the flowers on the bedside table, and noticed I’ve had fresh flowers in my room for the past few weeks. My friend vowed to buy fresh flowers for herself at least once a month, and I encouraged her to do so.

In the Winter months I need a vase of flower’s in the house because I miss tending to the flower beds outdoors. I took care of them last Spring and Summer, but now they’re empty waiting for Spring. I miss getting my hands covered in dirt, so much so, I repotted an herb today using the kitchen sink. My daughter walked by slowly, but I was quick to admit, “There might be a bag of dirt in the kitchen, and I might be repotting a plant in the kitchen sink.” She just grinned and encouraged me to continue.

It’s important to do these small things for ourselves, especially in the Winter months. It’s our true self wondering why these things are suddenly missing from our everyday life. It’s a change in season, and fortunately for us, seasons do change.

An empty Voluspa candle container being used as a vase.

If you miss the season of ‘in bloom’, then by all means buy yourself some flowers and stay true to you.