Make Your Heart Soar

How easily forgotten are these meaningful aspects of life once they’re no longer in view. These random moments that fill your heart with pure joy and in that instance, you realize that life is meant to be lived.

A fellow blogger/friend of mine recently wrote a post about taking a 3-minute break in between zooms to step outside and stretch. Within those few minutes a stork flew over her head and it was an exhilarating experience in a brief amount of time. The stork, or Great Blue Heron has always been a part of my heart and journey, but I haven’t seen one since living here except down by the lake, but the lake isn’t within walking distance anymore.

I still recall the feeling she described and didn’t realize how much it was missed until reading her post here. A few days ago, I remembered a picture I have of stork and went in search of it. The artwork was tucked away in the “I don’t know what to do with” pile because it was given to me by someone who knew my heart, but no longer holds it. Pulling it from it’s hiding place, I changed the frame and hung it on the wall as a visual reminder of what makes my heart soar.

I hung it above my typewriter and instead of feeling poignant about the way it came into my life, I’m grateful for still having it and can see it for the piece of artwork it is. One of the promises in AA states, ““We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.”, and that promise has come to pass many times, but it’s worth remembering today. Our past prepares us for our future.

Hold onto the pieces that make your heart soar.

Feature Photo by Jeremy Hynes on Unsplash

Survive the Storm

The storm lasted through the night, but today the thunder and lightning has passed leaving a gentle rain in it’s place. Before the storm arrived, I brought the wreath from the front door inside and I swear with the weather we’ve been having this year this wreath has hung indoors more than out, but thanks to my friend Dawn, I like it equally in either place.

During the storm, the Marvelous Mrs. M. Marco Polo’d me just to make sure everything was alright. She had seen a neighbor’s post on Instagram of the golf ball sized hail we received, but it’s been a long time since seeing hail come down as hard as rain and roll down the street.

I’m not a fan of storms and almost admire those who can sit outside to watch them pass through, but God has brought me a long way this year through storms both literally and figuratively. It began back in January with the simple and yet surrendering act of continually trusting Him through each and every one. The red banana tree planted outside my window took a beating from the hail of our most recent storm and I didn’t think quickly enough to even try to protect it.

There was no need for me to intervene because that’s a part of that ‘trusting Him’ in all things, even protecting a banana tree that’s too heavy to move indoors. Seeing it’s tattered leaves shredded by the hail it looks beaten, but it’s still standing tall and upright, so it survived. I think we all feel like this banana tree looks after a storm, but the storm does pass and it doesn’t last forever.

Our part is to make it through.

It’s outer leaves look rough, but let’s take a look inside.

There’s growth, shiny and new.

We may get the crap beat out of us like Mr. Banana, but there’s strength to be gained during each and every storm. The storm is growing us from the inside, but we won’t realize all the benefits of growth until after we survive the storm.

Go and Live Your Life

I was raised in an era where the rules were, you get a job, get married, buy a house plus cars, have kids and that would be your life. You stayed together no matter what, for the sake of the kids, but ten years ago, I realized that wasn’t true and didn’t want my daughter to think it was the definition of adulthood or marriage. It was time to re-write, or maybe even burn the rule book.

My daughter watched me have two long distance relationships after my divorce and she in turn ventured long distance through two of her own. Today, she’s in love with someone locally and I’m thrilled she broke that cycle of traveling to the ends of the earth just to be loved.

What a terrible burden for children to bear-to know they are the reason their Mother stopped living. What a terrible burden for our daughters to bear-to know that if they choose to become Mothers, this will be their fate too. Because if we show them that being a martyr is the highest form of love, that is what they’ll become. They will feel obligated to love as well as their Mothers loved, after all. They will believe they have permission to live only as fully as their Mothers allowed themselves to live.

Untamed-Glennon Doyle

Since my daughter is living her own life, a lot of my responsibilities have been relinquished. It feels as if I’m standing in the middle of a blank canvas, paint brush in hand, but not knowing what color to start with. It doesn’t really matter what color to dip the paint brush in because getting paint to the canvas is what’s important. When God decides to call this woman home, I want my children to be left with colorful, splattered, and messy, but somewhat masterful pieces of art that tell the story of how vibrantly their mother lived the second half of her life.

As my daughter moved out she said many noteworthy things and I know she wouldn’t want me to stay put as if pausing my life just in case she needed me in hers. No, she would say, “Go and live your life.”

Feature Photo by Bella Huang on Unsplash

It’s Yours for the Taking

There’s a quote on a chalkboard hanging in the hallway that says, “Take what you have and make it what you want.” The chalkboard has a few quotes listed, but that one is read each night before bed as I mentally recap my day.

I’ve been outside scrubbing mold and mildew off my front porch because I couldn’t look at it any longer. As many of you know, I rent this little house and didn’t plan on being here for 6 years, but here we are. The landlord sent his handyman out here in January of this year and the porch is one of several things I showed him that were unacceptable, but easily fixed. He said he’d come back later with a pressure washer and that would do the trick. I haven’t seen the handyman since.

At first, I began scrubbing the molded, wood slats of the porch in a loving and caring way in reference to the quote by taking what I have and making it what I want, but then became a little angry and mainly at myself. This wasn’t a soothing way to spend my Sunday and once the scrubbing and rinsing of the boards was complete, another project was revealed. The porch would need to be repainted, but I stopped there and put away all my supplies.

Barb isn’t painting the front porch of the rental house.

For decades I’ve lived by the saying, “If you want it done right, do it yourself”, but those words aren’t serving me here. Barb is tired of doing it herself and whatever we choose to do, the end result should bring happiness. My idea of happiness today is moments that resemble the feature photo of this post and to move toward the life we want means loosening the grip on the one we have.

The lesson here my beauties is…Before you take what you have to make it what you want, make sure it’s yours for the taking.

Relax and I’ll read this to you here:

P.S. I’m writing on Medium to encourage writers within my workplace and would love for you to join me there!

Feature Photo by Cody Black on Unsplash

Say Yes to Rest

The learning to rest thing is not easy, but it’s worth every effort given. I see ancient patterns resistant to change because they’ve been with me for a lifetime.

As a child I don’t recall taking time for rest. Mama kept us busy because she believed if we had too much time on our hands we’d find trouble. When my daughter and I moved into our first home together, I recall after the movers left, laying across the bed and falling sound asleep. I woke up some time later and thought, “That was the first nap I allowed myself to have in 30 years.” I never saw Mama take a nap, but Daddy took one everyday like clockwork.

I’ve been in relationships where they took daily naps. Sometimes, I’d take one too, but I always felt guilty for napping. There’s an old saying, “You can sleep when your dead,” but I’m learning to rest while alive in hopes of adding quality years to live.

I want to fall in love with this notion of rest and I’m not head over heels in love just yet, but I’m full of willingness. This photo was taken after a meditation in my sacred space. I was seated on my Zafu cushion, looking up at the corner of my bed and it made me feel more restful by simply seeing it. You see, I created a space within this space that calls for me to take a rest.

It contains my favorite blanket and pillow and I set the stage every morning after making the bed, just in case today is the day I’ll use it. This space waits for me all day to surrender and say yes to rest.

What comes up for you when you think about rest?

A Season of Horrid

My mail lady is going through some changes with the postal service. The other day I asked her, “How are you doing?” and she said, “I’m making $6,000 a year less and doing the same work!” I wasn’t expecting that.

This week, I dropped a note in the mailbox for her along with a Starbuck’s gift card. I sat and stared at the blank piece of card stock for quite a while, pen in hand while trying to pluck the right words from my heart onto the paper, but then realized it didn’t need to be spellbinding. She would probably appreciate the gift card without a note, or a note with no gift card. As a writer, I get too caught up in the words and it prolongs the gesture.

Almost everyone who crosses our path is going through something horrid. On the surface they act like everything is fine, but by standing still as if waiting to hear more they’ll share deeper. It’s such sacred ground to stand on while someone is bearing their soul in our presence and all we need to do is listen.

All they need is to be heard. Saying the words out loud validates the feelings and often brings clarity long after I’ve walked away. Nothing stays the same for long and whatever you’re going through, it will pass, but while we’re in it, the situation looks and feels horrid. Don’t lose heart my lovely.

In order to clear the path, we may be asked to go through a season of horrid.

Loosening My Grip

I feel lighter and more free today than yesterday. I’ve felt this way before and have said something similar many times. By His grace I hope to tap into this intermittent feeling many more times, but for now let’s stay in today.

I’m storing a coffee table for my daughter until she is ready to move again. I jokingly told her it would match my den and she said she’d love for it to be used until she was ready for it, so I made space. It’s shape is octagon with a beveled glass top, which includes a bottom shelf made of cane following the same shape. It’s vintage and in excellent condition, but my furniture was used to sitting around a rectangular coffee table, so it took a few days to find my Zen.

I’d leave the house for a while to walk back in and view the room with fresh eyes. I could feel it was off center, but I can only move this furniture in a handful of directions. This morning I shared coffee and conversation with a neighbor and when I walked back into the house it was like the room wanted to be more open, so I moved the furniture away from the coffee table and relocated a couple of pieces to make the table a centerpiece of the sitting space. That’s when I noticed the cords to the internet modem and Wi-Fi router sprawled along the floor.

My first thought was, ‘Grab the zip-ties!”, and I did, but laid them aside instead of tidying up the cords. Gingerly tucking the cords behind the basket the equipment is sitting on, so you can’t see them, but letting them hang freely between the wall and wicker. Quite a bit feels free today, and not only in the den, as I came up off the floor and realized I didn’t need to zip-tie the cords.

Feature Photo by Fuu J on Unsplash

These Three Cups

There was a bird singing so loudly it was almost disturbing. That could have something to do with watching the old Alfred Hitchcock movie, “Birds” before bed. Since watching that movie, I’ll think twice when seeing a row of crows perched along power lines! 😂

I found this pattern interesting and wanted to write about it last year, but it became buried during a season of inspiration. You’ll see two photos and the first one was taken last November. The second photo was taken last week and when looking at the two photos, 5 months apart, I was pleasantly surprised by the simplicity of the second photo opposed to the first one. My surroundings contain less, but life has more meaning including these three cups.

When our bodies roll out of bed, our inner self needs time to catch up and wants to be awakened gently. I start with a glass of water and if lemon is on hand, a generous squeeze is added to the water. I sit quietly to drink the water and will often meditate while holding the glass. Next is a cup of Taheebo. Taheebo is an extract made from the inner bark of the Pau D’ Arco tree and contains anti-bacterial and anti-fungal properties for immune system support. It’s a concentrate mixed with hot water and I always use this cup made of fine china with a crack in it to remind me how fragile life really is.

I sip Taheebo while reading and sitting in stillness, but you know it’s time to get down to business when the coffee cup comes into the picture. I generally know what part of the day I’m in by what cup I’m using.

When our world feels uncertain, it’s nice to have patterns that help ground us of what’s certain and for me that falls into place with these three cups.

Rest your eyes while I read this to you.

Feature Photo by Tom Crew on Unsplash