I did something this morning that I haven’t done in a very long time. I sat down in one of the overstuffed Parson chairs, grabbed my red throw to cover my legs and read a few pages from a book that’s laying on my table of books. I believe a writer should be surrounded by books. It’s inspiring to read what other writer’s wish to share and it’s encouraging to know deep in my bones that eventually there will be a book written by yours truly.
I was Marco Poloing with the magical Mrs. M this week and we were joking about the amount of books we live with. She went as far to purchase a rolling cart like you see being used at the public library! I just think that’s the coolest thing ever, but I don’t have a huge amount of books lying around, although you will find a stack in many of the rooms. If they are in a stack, they’re waiting to be read and on a shelf are some of my favorites that I don’t want to lose track of.
I think what I did this morning is considered normal, but I was amused that it felt planned. Yesterday, I published a newsletter for work entitled, ‘Slow Down December’ and thought it best to practice what was gently preached. I heated a chocolate chip scone and laid a slab of butter beside it once heated. Poured a cup of Christmas blend coffee in a retired Starbucks mug and sat them on the table of books. Anyone could find something at this table to suit their reading needs.
It was just getting light outside as I soaked up the stillness and thought…
I snapped at a coworker. That’s not like me because I don’t typically relinquish my calm and lash out. An uncharacteristic move deserves a deeper look.
Discontentment has been hanging around for a bit. There’s weariness in staring at a screen. It was manageable with the one job I’ve had for years, but when I took on a second job this year, it’s became a lot. Both jobs require being online, but one more than the other. I’ve learned the skill of reigniting my flame when it grows dim, but sitting here today it feels I’m repeatedly using matches, and the box is almost empty.
When my daughter or I lose our spark where we are, we make a pro/con list. We list the reasons for staying (pro), and the reasons for leaving (con). This recently popped up in my Facebook memories.
“How do you know when you’ve outgrown that job, ministry and/or partnership? Here are 7 indicators that it may be time to move on. 1. You feel like your creativity is being stifled 2. You lack motivation for the thing that once motivated you and ignited your passions 3. You feel like it’s getting in the way of your true calling and purpose 4. You feel like you’re emotionally suffocating in that environment 5. What you offer isn’t utilized, valued or appreciated 6. You feel like you’ve maxed out on the growth, opportunities and/or resources that are available to you 7. You’ve prayed about it, and you feel a release to move forward These are not definite indicators, but they are certainly clues worth investigating.” David Burrus.
Of the seven things listed, six of them resonate. December is the month to examine and let go of what extinguishes our flame. Reclaim the fire.