Get Disturbed

It’s refreshing to look back over your life and see how far you’ve come. My daughter will be 21 in August, but when we started this adventure, she was 13. I didn’t know what our new life looked like, but I did know, there had to better.

It was one of those agonizing moments of, Which will be worse? Staying where we are, or leaving?

The first part of making a new life for yourself is making a decision to do so. Once you decide, you can act.

Are you disturbed with your life?

I was, but then I became complacent. There was the proverbial list of excuses for staying. Sometimes it’s easier to stay put, but nothing worthwhile is ever easy my darling. I had to let it disturb again. I had to let it bother me to the point of leaving.

Disturbed is not angry. Disturbed feels like a steady burden of unrest.

Is it time for a change? Get disturbed.

Believe in Yourself

I strive to be more like my daughter.

She’s been telling me, “You’re my hero”, since the age of five. Today, I still want to be that, but I watch her too, and she’s becoming mine.

Doing something new, especially learning a new skill, seems scary at first. I believe it’s important for our children, and adult children to see us continually bettering ourselves.

We expect them to believe in their abilities, but what about us? After we pass a certain age, do we stop believing in ourselves?

believe

No, my darling. We must continue to try new things, and keep an open mind. I’ve always told my daughter, “You won’t know unless you try.” Now, she says those words to me.

The only time we fail, is if we don’t even try.

The Christmas Tree

Being a single Mom at Christmas has a little more pressure to it. There’s not a lot of gifts under the tree. The way I see it is, everyday of our life together is a gift.

There’s one thing that I’ve always done for Christmas. If you’re a single Mom, choose one thing and do it well.

Ours is a fresh-cut Christmas tree.

tree1

This is important to my daughter and it’s become one of my favorite parts of the season. We pick it out together every year.

I cover it in lights and she’s in charge of hanging the ornaments. Our first Christmas tree together after leaving my marriage consisted of a large container of balls from a hardware store. The tree had lights and balls, but fast forward five years to today and it’s a reflection of our life together.

flocked

She flocked it herself.

Over the years I began buying ornaments after Christmas at half price. Any little thing that resembled our life that year. You can look at our tree this year and it tells our story.

For us, it’s not about what’s under the tree. Our most treasured memory this time of year is the Christmas tree.

tree.jpg

What You Love

When my daughter was 5 years old, our home looked picture perfect. A designer helped furnish and decorate the main rooms of the house and wanted to invite her photographer in. She thought they would win a contest.

Holmes Living Room
Our living room.

 

It was the saddest season of my life.

The room was used when we entertained guests and every item was a financial investment. You couldn’t sit and relax because there was no love in that room even when it was full of people.

Looks can be deceiving. In 2013, I left my 25 year marriage, and took my daughter with me. It was in that house my marriage hit it’s breaking point. My husband lost his job, we eventually lost that house and a few years later, each other.

We still have a few of the furnishings from that room and my daughter and I enjoy them. We’ve moved every couple of years and each home was a little bit nicer and life became more beautiful. We gave up stuff with every move, but we never gave up on each other.

Today we would be called minimalists, but I see it as only keep what you love.

summer countryside grass outdoor
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

 

The Right Amount

One evening I was craving macaroni and cheese.

I looked at my favorite recipe, and went to the kitchen to see if I had what was needed. It looked promising.

As I was pouring each ingredient into the pan, I was amazed by having the right amount of each. This wasn’t planned by be, but it was obviously planned for me.

macandcheese
My fave homemade Mac and Cheese.

That’s how God works in my life.

I realized if He could give me the exact ingredients for mac and cheese, He surely had all of the ingredients measured out for a spectacular life.

He wants me to trust Him.

And I do.

A spectacular life sounds like the right amount.

Make it Beautiful

When I walked into the house, she rapidly announced, “I made a mess.” I just looked at her, smiled, and followed her gaze to the hallway floor. It was covered in chalk.

blue red and yellow chalk
Photo by Viktoria Goda on Pexels.com

We have a large adhesive chalkboard on the pantry door. We use it to write down our schedules for one another. My daughter reached up to retrieve the box of chalk from above the pantry door, and it fell out of her hand crashing onto the tile floor. Tile is obviously more solid than chalk.

It was an accident. Pause Mama’s. Place a hold on your immediate reaction and wait for a response.

Some of our most magical moments began as a minor disaster.

Stepping over the mess, I walked into the bathroom. After washing my hands, I noticed one piece of chalk laying right inside the doorway. Squatting down, I grabbed the chalk, and wrote a note on the tile.

My daughter loved it and followed suit.

She wrote a note on the tile in the hallway.

My daughter could have cleaned up the mess before I returned home. She didn’t because she knew we would make something fun out of it, and was waiting to see my thoughts. When she moves on with her life, and has children of her own, I imagine her home with tile floors.

She will probably skip the chalk altogether, and allow her children to finger-paint the tile floor. She will teach them that an accident is really a beautiful mess in disguise.

When life gets messy. Make it beautiful.