I’ve been consistent with my daily walks and noticed the sky was cloudy, but stepped outside anyway. Once I rounded the corner from my street to the next, it began to rain. Normally, it doesn’t bother me to walk in the rain, but I’d already done that this week. I was caught in a downpour while out running errands and my t-shirt became soaked. I’m a little bit past the wet t-shirt contest era, so I turned around and came back home.
I felt a twinge of disappointment for not completing what I’d set out to do, but knew to try again later. Within seconds of being home, the sun came out and that irritated me even more, but I smiled and acknowledged that God can change any circumstance in an instant and that includes the weather. I’m wrestling with a feeling of discontentment today and told God as much. I’m truly blessed in so many ways, but there’s always been this little piece inside of me striving for better. Things don’t happen fast enough, or they happen all at once. While whining to God, I heard the words, “Have you done the last thing He told you to do?”
Nope, but I’m working on it and making progress in decluttering and downsizing my belongings, but there’s still a ways to go. It’s a process going through a 4 year collection of items, but there’s no doubt in my mind it’ll happen. I’ve given myself to the end of the year to see a difference and then the wintertime it’ll become more serious, so by next Spring I’ll receive some clarity of whether to stay put, or go. Yesterday, there were eight kids screaming in the yard next-door, so that tipped the scale toward go. Not that I have anything against children, but feel past that stage of life as well.
This surmises what’s past, but uncertainty of what’s ahead. There’s a feeling of togetherness here, but we can always return to what’s known. For me, it’s to stay steady along this path and to follow the one who knows.
I slept in this morning and the large clock hanging on the bedroom wall said, 8:00, but daylight saving time kicked in and it was actually 7:00 am. That’s the only downside to having a real clock in every room. I’ll be turning them all back an hour.
Friends have been asking, “What are your plans now that you’re an empty nester?” In October I’d planned to get my passport, so if I decided to visit friends outside the US, I’d be free to do so. You are asked to turn in your birth certificate along with the passport application and I have no idea where that might be. Yesterday, a friend told me the easiest way to find it. He encountered the same obstacle while applying for his passport, so I was grateful to have seen him on my walk.
I came home and looked up the website he’d referred me to and it looked pretty straightforward. After filling in all the information, I had a choice to make. I could pay $49 plus another $10 fee to download the document and mail it in, or for those who don’t have a printer they charge $89 plus additional fees to mail me everything needed to be filled in and mail it back. From what I gather this company would be creating a birth certificate for me, but that’s not what I was looking for. I wanted the original.
Another online search took me to the Register of Deeds in the county where I was born. This website had a vintage search engine to look up vital records. Typing in my mother’s name and the date of my birth, nothing was found, so I replaced her name with my father’s and a record of my birth came up. It was funny that my father’s name was listed first, but back then it was the proper way. I printed out the document and will fill it in to mail to the Register of Deeds with a $10 check per copy wanted of the certificate.
I had laid the whole passport thing aside because of the hiccup with the birth certificate, but I believe in my heart God wants me to have one. Where He wants me to travel to, I don’t know yet, but a passport certainly does kick open the door of possibilities.
When the flooring in your house is wood and tile, but you have one rug in the breezeway. That one rug is where the dog will choose to barf.
Sunday afternoons were once spent cleaning house, but I don’t have to anymore. Living solo, the house stays pretty clean and now when I walk through the house each piece receives a questioning glance of, “Will you be a part of the next chapter?” If the item doesn’t speak to my heart, it’s posted for sale.
There’s one table I absolutely adore and what sits on it changes quite frequently. A couple of weeks ago, my daughter noticed the change and said, “Should I be concerned you already have a silver tree on display?” We originally purchased it as Christmas décor, but I believe it’s pretty anytime of year. The metals are fascinating décor, so I went one step further and moved more silver onto the table.
This morning I was outside watering the plants and thought, ‘you don’t have to’, because they’re calling for rain tomorrow, which is unreliable, but taking it one step further the plants really didn’t need it. It was routine from doing it all summer and now the temps are cooler so the plants need less from me. Let me tell you my darlings…that is a mighty good feeling when your life needs less of you.
Maybe I’m past the ‘needs’ of life and my heart is calling me to listen to the ‘wants’.
When we first moved to Texas, we had to follow my then husbands job here. From that point on, every house we moved into we did so because we had to. Sitting here today some 20 years later, my daughter and I wanted to move here, but now that she’s living own her own, I don’t have to stay. With my type work, I can live anywhere, or travel around living in various places, but when I think about staying put, my heart whispers…you don’t have to.
When my daughter was 5 years old, our home looked picture perfect. A designer helped furnish and decorate the main rooms of the house and wanted to invite her photographer in. She thought they would win a contest.
Our living room.
It was the saddest season of my life.
The room was used when we entertained guests and every item was a financial investment. You couldn’t sit and relax because there was no love in that room even when it was full of people.
Looks can be deceiving. In 2013, I left my 25 year marriage, and took my daughter with me. It was in that house my marriage hit it’s breaking point. My husband lost his job, we eventually lost that house and a few years later, each other.
We still have a few of the furnishings from that room and my daughter and I enjoy them. We’ve moved every couple of years and each home was a little bit nicer and life became more beautiful. We gave up stuff with every move, but we never gave up on each other.
Today we lean toward minimal, but I see it as only keep what you love.