Stay True to You

Over the weekend I was sitting on my bed recording a Marco Polo for my friend, and showing her some things I’d done to my room to make it more Haven-like. She Marco Polo’s me back saying she loved the flowers on the bedside table, and noticed I’ve had fresh flowers in my room for the past few weeks. My friend vowed to buy fresh flowers for herself at least once a month, and I encouraged her to do so.

In the Winter months I need a vase of flower’s in the house because I miss tending to the flower beds outdoors. I took care of them last Spring and Summer, but now they’re empty waiting for Spring. I miss getting my hands covered in dirt, so much so, I repotted an herb today using the kitchen sink. My daughter walked by slowly, but I was quick to admit, “There might be a bag of dirt in the kitchen, and I might be repotting a plant in the kitchen sink.” She just grinned and encouraged me to continue.

It’s important to do these small things for ourselves, especially in the Winter months. It’s our true self wondering why these things are suddenly missing from our everyday life. It’s a change in season, and fortunately for us, seasons do change.

An empty Voluspa candle container being used as a vase.

If you miss the season of ‘in bloom’, then by all means buy yourself some flowers and stay true to you.

A Blanket of Calm

It’s cold in Texas. My laptop says it’s 27 degrees outdoors, and to some states, that isn’t cold, but for Texas it’s cold.

The title of this post came to mind earlier this week, but I don’t know what to write. I live my life wrapped in a blanket of calm, and have written about calmness, but to sit down and share how to achieve it, the words are few. My life is so calm that my daughter gave me this magnet for Christmas as a joke, but it’s really not that life is calm. I’ve just learned to remain calm in this life.

To harness calm depends quite a bit on our environment. What and who we share our space with. To have calm, we need to practice having it, and display it in our daily life. My life hasn’t always been calm, but it was one of the most important elements I craved after my divorce. The quote by Winston Churchill comes to mind, “If you’re going through hell, keep going.” Disruptions are temporary, and there’s calm on the other side.

Blankets are prevalent in our home. They’re stored in a cubby in the den and laying at the foot of each bed. Earlier this week I just needed to envelope myself in warmth, so I grabbed a blanket, wrapped it around my shoulders, and immediately felt the warmth of calm. Give it a try.

I pray for your world to be covered by a blanket of calm.

Believe in Yourself

I strive to be more like my daughter.

She’s been telling me, “You’re my hero”, since the age of five. Today, I still want to be that, but I watch her too, and she’s becoming mine.

Doing something new, especially learning a new skill, seems scary at first. I believe it’s important for our children, and adult children to see us continually bettering ourselves.

We expect them to believe in their abilities, but what about us? After we pass a certain age, do we stop believing in ourselves?

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No, my darling. We must continue to try new things, and keep an open mind. I’ve always told my daughter, “You won’t know unless you try.” Now, she says those words to me.

The only time we fail, is if we don’t even try.

It’s Just Beginning

I put clean sheets on my bed this morning, but not my daughter’s. It’s the little things that reveal our lives are separating. We raise them to be independent, but frown when they’re independent with Momma. Today, I smiled.

I’m happy my daughter is 20 years old.

My ‘raising her’ days are over, but she’s still watching. She watches how I live my life and listens to the words I say. I haven’t stopped striving to be the hero she saw at age five, but now I get to be both our heroes. Where some Mother’s feel their life is over once the kiddo’s are grown, I feel my life is just beginning.

Granted, it’s the second half of life. I’m 55 years old and single, but I’m happy. This new year/decade I’ll discover so many thing about myself, including who I want to be.

The possibilities are endless.

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I encourage you to live your life.

Just because they’re grown and gone doesn’t mean life stands still. No my darling, for Momma’s of adult children, it’s just beginning.

The Christmas Tree

Being a single Mom at Christmas has a little more pressure to it. There’s not a lot of gifts under the tree. The way I see it is, everyday of our life together is a gift.

There’s one thing that I’ve always done for Christmas. If you’re a single Mom, choose one thing and do it well.

Ours is a fresh-cut Christmas tree.

tree1

This is important to my daughter and it’s become one of my favorite parts of the season. We pick it out together every year.

I cover it in lights and she’s in charge of hanging the ornaments. Our first Christmas tree together after leaving my marriage consisted of a large container of balls from a hardware store. The tree had lights and balls, but fast forward five years to today and it’s a reflection of our life together.

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She flocked it herself.

Over the years I began buying ornaments after Christmas at half price. Any little thing that resembled our life that year. You can look at our tree this year and it tells our story.

For us, it’s not about what’s under the tree. Our most treasured memory this time of year is the Christmas tree.

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Slowly and Suddenly

This mum was given to me weeks ago.

I was told if it didn’t bloom right, to let them know. The store selling them has had returns and complaints. How do you bloom right?

When my daughter brought it home, it was wrapped in plastic, bone dry and the buds were shut tight. I began drenching it with water.

mum

I placed a dish under the pot so it could sit and soak up the overflow. It was so thirsty some of the buds were DOA, but slowly it began soaking up the care that was given. It began to bloom and it has buds waiting to bloom.

For some it didn’t bloom fast enough.

This mum shows me how God works.

Ever so slowly and then suddenly.

Live Like Chemex

My daughter and I are serious about coffee. Over the years, she has seen me use a coffee maker with a timer, so it’s ready before my feet hit the floor. The beeping of the coffeemaker was my alarm clock. Then came the Kuerig. That was fast and convenient, but it didn’t make itself. Have you ever run out of those pods? Stressful.

My daughter loves the Chemex. I’ve been watching her all year to see how it’s done. Now, I wake up and give myself time to be fully awake to make a Chemex. This is new for me. I’m waking up to make the brew, instead of it waiting to wake me up.

It’s more than coffee. It’s a moment.

Over the weekend, I bought a new trivet.

I thought I was buying it for the Chemex, but found myself using it for the goose-neck kettle instead. It’s handmade and affordable, but you can only spot clean it. The Chemex process can get messy. Sometimes it decides to sputter coffee everywhere. My daughter is not a fan when it spews, but I see it as a part of life. 🙂

Today, I pulled out this hot plate designed to keep coffee hot. This actually came with a KitchenAid coffee maker I had 20 years ago. KitchenAid was built to last, but it wasn’t designed for the wooden collar around the Chemex. The wood absorbs heat and will burn your hand, so drink the coffee before it gets cold, or keep it on low.

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My daughter will love this trivet.

Pretty catches our eye, but we don’t buy a lot of things. Life itself is simply beautiful. Things can be affordable and useful, but still be pretty. It doesn’t matter if she uses it for the kettle or the Chemex, as long as she enjoys it.

Moments happen slowly, but go by quick. A gradual decrease in the pace of life creates a steady flow. Live like Chemex.

Teach Them Kindness

My daughter’s Jeep got hit, but it can take it.

She was pulling into a parking lot with a car in front of us. There was plenty of parking, but the car in front decided to park at the same time as my daughter. They pulled into a space side by side. The stranger’s passenger door flung open before either car was fully parked.

It was a child in a hurry to exit.

Her car door hit my daughter’s Jeep.

My daughter was angry, but not because the Jeep was hit. It was because the little girl was in a hurry. This could have been more than a scratch.

The little girls face showed remorse and terror as soon as it happened, but the mother was a different story all together. She was prepared with anger, but I diffused with kindness.

“I didn’t even see you”, she said.

Were we hidden from view?

She had a car full of girls. Life is distracting.

It was an accident, but “I’m sorry”, was left unsaid.

This is what hurt my daughter the most.

The little girl thought we’d be mad, not sad.

The Jeep was made for this, but not the hearts.

Practicing+kindness+and+volunteering+as+a+family+teaches+our+children+so+much+about+the+world_

What You Love

When my daughter was 5 years old, our home looked picture perfect. A designer helped furnish and decorate the main rooms of the house and wanted to invite her photographer in. She thought they would win a contest.

Holmes Living Room

Our living room.

 

It was the saddest season of my life.

The room was used when we entertained guests and every item was a financial investment. You couldn’t sit and relax because there was no love in that room even when it was full of people.

Looks can be deceiving. In 2013, I left my 25 year marriage, and took my daughter with me. It was in that house my marriage hit it’s breaking point. My husband lost his job, we eventually lost that house and a few years later, each other.

We still have a few of the furnishings from that room and my daughter and I enjoy them. We’ve moved every couple of years and each home was a little bit nicer and life became more beautiful. We gave up stuff with every move, but we never gave up on each other.

Today we would be called minimalists, but I see it as only keep what you love.

summer countryside grass outdoor

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

 

The Right Amount

One evening I was craving macaroni and cheese.

I looked at my favorite recipe, and went to the kitchen to see if I had what was needed. It looked promising.

As I was pouring each ingredient into the pan, I was amazed by having the right amount of each. This wasn’t planned by be, but it was obviously planned for me.

That’s how God works in my life.

I realized if He could give me the exact ingredients for mac and cheese, He surely had all of the ingredients measured out for a spectacular life.

He wants me to trust Him.

And I do.

A spectacular life sounds like the right amount.