Who we have in mind as a life partner is probably the opposite of who God has planned for us. That’s always the trend as the words, “My thoughts are not your thoughts”, flitter across the page. After my divorce I used to joke with my daughter by saying, “I hope my person is a cross between Keith Urban and Tim McGraw”, so we referred to my future mate as Keith McGraw.

I’ve talked with a lot of men on dating apps and a chosen few remained friends. Last week, I called one to see how he’s doing with life and love. He found someone on Bumble and they’ve been dating for 6 months! I’m happy for him because he’s a great guy, but we wanted different things in a relationship. I told him I closed my account, and he encouraged me to reopen it and stay visible. He said, “You never know who will step into your life Barb, but you gotta be seen.” I was encouraged by our conversation and joked that if he found love, so can I, so I reopened my Bumble account.

I’ve had to start looking past the profile pictures and read every word they write about themselves. When you’re looking to date someone over 50, they may post a musclebound photo of being pulled by a ski boat, but that photo is probably 10 years old. I’d rather find someone who is fit, but not afraid to age.

Being on a dating app reminds me of this parable called, the Drowning Man.

A fellow was stuck on his rooftop in a flood. He was praying to God for help.

Soon a man in a rowboat came by and the fellow shouted to the man on the roof, “Jump in, I can save you.”

The stranded fellow shouted back, “No, it’s OK, I’m praying to God and he is going to save me.”

So the rowboat went on.

Then a motorboat came by. “The fellow in the motorboat shouted, “Jump in, I can save you.”

To this the stranded man said, “No thanks, I’m praying to God and he is going to save me. I have faith.”

So the motorboat went on.

Then a helicopter came by and the pilot shouted down, “Grab this rope and I will lift you to safety.”

To this the stranded man again replied, “No thanks, I’m praying to God and he is going to save me. I have faith.”

So the helicopter reluctantly flew away.

Soon the water rose above the rooftop and the man drowned. He went to Heaven. He finally got his chance to discuss this whole situation with God, at which point he exclaimed, “I had faith in you but you didn’t save me, you let me drown. I don’t understand why!”

To this God replied, “I sent you a rowboat, a motorboat and a helicopter, what more did you expect?”

The Drowning Man

Fast forward 8 years, from conjuring up the ideal man in my mind and Keith McGraw no longer makes the cut. What’s most important in this stage of life is sobriety and that they’re working a solid program. To have God fully in their life and be grateful for waking up sober to one more day. Maybe I’m finally on the same page as God because who I see today, no longer looks like Keith McGraw.