I haven’t received clarity on what this new birthday year looks like in several areas of my life, but as the seasons change outside our front door, there’s a shift inside my heart. This from a woman who has to look at a calendar to know for certain what day it is.

There’s a spot inside my writing room where I love to sit to watch daybreak. There’s a chair perched at the end of the desk offering a view through the double windows. A birdbath is attached to the overhang of the roof of my gardening shed and I see a row of birds sitting atop the wooden privacy fence as if waiting in line for their turn with the water bowl. Cardinals don’t share well.

On the corner of the desk are a couple of morning devotionals and I noticed recently the condition of the spine of one of the books. It’s been opened so many times you can barely read the title, but I know it by the leather cover and it’s size. It was a gift from my daughter in December of 2013, which was the preceding year I left her father and took her with me, so this book was with me during one of the most destructive times of my life, but was it the book, or the words inside?

From the looks of it, this book has been through hell and back, but it’s still in one piece. The name of the book is Jesus Calling, by Sarah Young, and yes, I’ve been reading the same book every day for over a decade. Every page speaks to me differently depending upon what season I’m in and it’s not because the words have changed, but rather our spiritual practice is causing a change in us.

I can completely relate to the birds sitting along the fence, waiting for their turn at the water bowl. We pray, pause and listen for that still, small voice to say, ‘Go. It’s your turn’, and sitting here today for me that feels a lot like waiting in line.