If It Was Up to Me

I’m so uncomfortable over the things God’s calling me to do and it all started shortly after leaving one of my jobs. Why did I have 2 jobs? I didn’t need both financially, but all my years as a single Mom instilled the mindset that I needed one for backup.

It’s been a rocky road to trust God more in all areas of my life. Not just when I need Him to answer a prayer, but over every, little thing. These scarves are a continual God walk and I just love His sense of humor. Where I started learning to make them for gifts, He kept nudging me until I’m sitting here in a pile of them. He had a plan for these scarves all along and it’s much bigger than mine which is uncomfortable.

Scary, scary, scary…letting go of that second job. It was one of the hardest things I’ve done all year, but it opened up an incredible amount of headspace to think more clearly and hear His voice.

Sometimes it’s not about being busy physically and collapsing at the end of the day. I didn’t feel busy, but my mind was always racing trying to keep my ducks in a row for what came next workwise. My writing suffered. I would feel that spark of inspiration in the morning, but work would seep and by noon the inspiring thought vanished. I began jotting down ideas until the day I sat down at my desk and was faced with a list of unwritten blogposts. Something had to change…and unfortunately, it was me.

I’m careful to not pour this newfound freedom into my existing job and to get familiar with having open space. This week, I was standing at a computer looking at work when this song began playing on the radio. It pulled me away from what I thought was important and readjusted my focus on the one vying for my attention.

I’m sharing this in hopes it will pull you in as well. Here’s Ben Fuller and Carrie Underwood singing about how easy life would be…if it was up to me.

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Comments

8 responses to “If It Was Up to Me”

  1. Kimberly Avatar

    Sometimes I think we’re so accustomed to asking God to add something to our lives that we forget He also answers by asking us to lay something down. And that can be considerably less comfortable! But there’s a reason Scripture says, “Be still, and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10). Stillness isn’t always inactivity; sometimes it’s finally creating enough room to recognize where God has been pointing all along.

    I’m learning that obedience rarely comes with the whole map unfolded in front of us. Usually God gives enough light for the next step and asks us to trust Him with the rest. Looking back, though, that’s often where we discover His plans were already taking shape while we were still trying to keep all our ducks obediently lined up. And frankly, my ducks have never been particularly cooperative

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I agree Kimberly and He’s scraped my plate clean many times. If our minds are so full of ‘what’s next’, we often miss out on the here and now. That Psalm is one of my favorite verses and I love how He finds us in the stillness. Yeah…I had to rehome my ducks. 😂

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  2. wilson441 Avatar

    Hi,
    Thank you for sharing this song, I really enjoyed it!
    I guess it comes down to trusting The Lord; He loves us and wants the best for us. I have been working on that for a long time. I have started praying, Your will, Lord not mine. It’s a hard prayer to pray.
    I enjoy your posts, thank you.
    Leaning on Him,
    Mary

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hello Mary and thank you so much for sharing. Maybe it’s something we work on our entire lives, like a daily practice and I’ve started saying that same prayer throughout the day. Leaning on Him, indeed. 💖

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  3. Thank you Barb for sharing the song. I had never heard it before but needed to hear it. I have been struggling with making a decision and this song was a big help in finding an answer.. Hugs and blessings.

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    1. My pleasure, Mags and it sounds as if it was meant for you. I don’t think I’d heard it before the day mentioned, but like you, just by hearing it, the answer became more clear. Thank you and hugs and blessings to you!

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  4. One thought – this line – “Something had to change…and unfortunately, it was me.”

    I’m going to say … and fortunately, because that’s where we begin and have the opportunity to make a difference in our lives. Yes? ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, I vacillated between the 2 words and which one to use. Fortunately, we do have the power to embrace change, but unfortunately it’s not fun. 💖

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I’d love to hear your thoughts.