Butting Heads With God

I wasn’t sure when I’d show back up here, but today seems like a good day to return. Since the first day of the new year I’ve been sick, but two weeks later, I can actually form a coherent thought! I’m never sick, so having this lingering illness that refuses to leave is foreign for me. I’ll never take being healthy for granted again.

By day 12, I was pretty upset with God. Every morning I’d wake up with a speck of improvement, but didn’t feel like myself. I haven’t been able to drink any coffee which is scary enough within itself, but the terrifying part is I don’t even miss it. I discovered the pure joy in having groceries delivered to my front door, but fear I won’t leave my house as often anymore. I’ve become highly disciplined at meditation just to hear myself breathe and my daughter’s dog, Winnie usually joins me.

Yesterday was day 12 and I went for a drive just to make sure I still knew how to drive. I told God the most frustrating part of this illness for me was not feeling like myself and I miss her, so I pretty much begged God to bring her back!

I wasn’t willing to give her up.

And on this faithful morning, of Day 13….my favorite parts of her returned. Thank you, God.

18 thoughts on “Butting Heads With God”

  2. I’m glad you turned the corner! It sounds a lot like something I had a year or so ago. (I had never, ever been that sick before in my life, for such an extended period of time). The mental part was as bad as any physical symptoms. (and I as a fellow coffee lover, also lost my desire for it) so yep, you have been through the grinder. I love your new blog too by the way. You’re genuine DM

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    • It’s comforting to hear this DM. The physical aspects of it were nothing compared to the mental! It was like I couldn’t remember who I was which was unnerving and the way it just drug out was unreal. Thank you for sharing and your kind words. ✨

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      • Not saying it was, but it sounds like you may have had a variation of COVID (which in my opinion has been hyped up way more than it needed to be) Absolutely, it was fatal to certain segments of the population…anyway, that was what I had when I was sick…my brother ended up having it too, and he and I agreed, the mental part was the worst part of it…plus it drug on and on. Just between you and I, I wanted to get it, get it over with and allow my body to acquire the natural antibodies, that it is designed to create. I am not in the population demographic that was high risk or I would have had an entirely different attitude. Take care of yourself! DM

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      • Yes, my daughter said the same thing DM, but by the time we came to that conclusion, it wouldn’t show up with a test. Now, I’m in the coughing phase and this has been an interesting journey, but hopefully one I won’t take again anytime soon! Thank you DM for your kind words and support. ✨

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  3. Hi Barb. Sorry to hear you haven’t been feeling well. I hope further down the line you feel more like yourself.
    I am surprised to hear you are not missing your coffee with knowing you like your coffee. X

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  8. I hope you’re feeling better by now and back to your spunky self. There’s a lot going around, and just about everyone I know, incl. myself, gets hit with something now and then, no matter how careful we are. Not sure what your last sentence meant, but I’m sure it’s good, and I’m always glad for that. 😊

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