Recently, I’ve become healthily obsessed with Tim Timmons and am reading his new book, “Waking Up Again”. There’s a question in the book that he’ll ask people to get to know them better and I’ve been seeking answers to it all week. Here’s the question: “What shaped you?” In other words, what are some of the key moments, both beautiful and tragic, that have brought you to who you are and how you live today?

There were a lot of instances in my marriage that shaped me and helped mold me into who I am, but they’re more refined today. One example being teapots.

Looking back I guess I should have known the ride I was in for when I married a man whose name started with ‘B’, just like mine. Therefore, both of our children’s name begin with ‘B’, so we could be referred to as the 4 B’s. How perfect is that?

Mr. B was impossible to buy for, especially on special occasions such as Christmas and birthday’s because if he wanted something, he would buy it right then and there. In an attempt to make our gift giving less stressful, he started a couple of collections of things so we could always add to the collection. My category was teapots and the children’s was kaleidoscope’s. These things were for display purposes only, but I can recall choosing a unique teapot because I loved it. They were handmade by various Artesians we enjoyed and I wonder where those teapots are today?

I didn’t pack up any of the teapots to take with me when I left, but I remained quietly enamored by them. It took a decade to disconnect the learned reason for buying one, (Mr. B) and to want one for myself, so last Christmas I bought myself a teapot.

I learned about Frank Lloyd Wright while married and still love the clean lines of his style of architecture, so I can see why this one sparked my heart. The main difference’s are it’s not handmade, so it’s totally affordable and it will be used instead of being on display. Nothing in my home today is on display and each item has a purpose.

Lastnight, I felt like doing something special for myself before bed. I wanted to tap into a moment of ritual and pulled the teapot from it’s shelf. It has a tea infuser resting inside, so I filled it with dried chamomile, poured boiling water inside and replaced the lid while it steeped. I told a good friend of mine about buying the teapot for myself at Christmas and she wanted to see a photo of it, so I sent her the link from the website where it was purchased. A moment later she asked, “Did you buy the matching cup?”

I was so focused on the pot I’d overlooked the matching cup, so told her no. A little while later she texted me again with, “You shall have your matching cup!”

We met at our favorite bakery and she handed me the box, unwrapped, with a grin saying, “You already know what it is.” My friends today are real people.

When the tea was done steeping, I decided to use the matching cup and simply by holding onto the saucer while carrying it through the house offered a feeling of ritual.

Thirty years of life revolving around Mr. B shaped me quite a bit, but the divorce helped form me even more. Each new day offers the opportunity to refine some of those pieces of me by smoothing off the rough edges and I’m always surprised to find what’s rooted in my heart… like a teapot.

I’m grateful for the type friend who would give me this cup and saucer to compliment my one and only teapot that is used frequently. I sense her love in that cup and once combined…I find ritual.